One-Liners

I went to a massage parlor, it was self service. -Rodney Dangerfield

It’s a good thing that beauty is only skin deep, or I’d be rotten to the core. -Phyllis Diller

Reality is just a crutch for people who can’t cope with drugs. -Robin Williams

Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass. -Bill Hicks

I’m a writer. I write checks. They’re not very good. -Wendy Liebman

I was at the lake and I saw this seagull, so I walked up to it and said, “It’s okay, I won’t tell anybody.” -Mitch Hedberg

Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves? -Robin Williams

Belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt up. Don’t know what’s happening down there. Who’s the real hero? -Mitch Hedberg

I came from a real tough neighborhood. On my street, the kids take hubcaps – from moving cars. -Rodney Dangerfield

I think foosball is a combination of soccer and shish kabobs. -Mitch Hedberg

The sky already fell. Now what? -Steven Wright

Watching television is like taking black spray paint to your third eye. -Bill Hicks

I’m convinced my cockroaches have military training, I set off a roach bomb – they defused it. -Jay London

I enjoy a Kit Kat, unless I’m with four or more people. -Mitch Hedberg

If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn’t type any slower. -Mitch Hedberg

Sometimes I fall asleep at night with my clothes on. I’m going to have all my clothes made out of blankets. -Mitch Hedberg

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry. -Rita Rudner

Every book is a children’s book if the kid can read! -Mitch Hedberg

I have a microwave fireplace in my house…The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. -Steven Wright

Told my mom I gave a presentation @ Tony Robbins conference. She was really excited. In her words: Wow! Robin Williams! -Tony Hsieh

My wife is so fat when she lays on the beach the people feel sorry for her and try to roll her back into the water. -Rodney Dangerfield

I played a great horse yesterday! It took seven horses to beat him. -Henny Youngman

When I told my doctor I couldn’t afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays. -Henny Youngman

My uncles dying wish was to have me sit in his lap – he was in the electric chair -Rodney Dangerfield

I don’t have a bank account because I don’t know my mother’s maiden name. -Paula Poundstone

Sister wanted to be an actress, but never made it. She does live in a trailer. She got halfway. -Mitch Hedberg

She was so ugly that if you grab a dictionary and look under the word ugly you would see her picture. -Rodney Dangerfield

Sex is an emotion in motion -Mae West

A dog is forever in the push-up position. -Mitch Hedberg

Carpe per diem – seize the check. -Robin Williams

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. -W. C. Fields

Thought all day about running, finally did it. Concluded that thinking about running is more enjoyable than actually running. -Tony Hsieh

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn’t pay his bill, so he gave him another six months. -Henny Youngman

My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can’t decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. -Rita Rudner

I used to think drinking was the only way to be happy. Now I know there is no way to be happy. -Laura Kightlinger

I once went out with this girl, she was no bargain either, she showed up with pigtails under her arms. -Rodney Dangerfield

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song? -George Carlin

I couldn’t find the remote control to the remote control. -Steven Wright

I intend to live forever – so far, so good. -Steven Wright

A man is only as faithful as his options. -Chris Rock

Kiss and make up–but too much makeup has ruined many a kiss. -Mae West

My wife’s got a face like a saint – a Saint Bernard. -Rodney Dangerfield

Broken promises don’t upset me. I just think, why did they believe me? -Jack Handy

Men don’t care what’s on TV. They only care what else is on TV. -Jerry Seinfeld

I wouldn’t mind paying taxes – if I knew they were going to a friendly country. -Dick Gregory

No, generally I think influence is used as a nice word for plagiarism. -Gilbert Gottfried

Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. -George Carlin

They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it’s very busy, when they have one. -Rita Rudner

Where are we going? And what’s with this hand basket? -George Carlin

I named my private part pride… it’s not much but at least I have my pride. -Jay London

Democracy means that anyone can grow up to be president, and anyone who doesn’t grow up can be vice president. -Johnny Carson

When you don’t know what you’re talking about, it’s hard to know when you’re finished. -Tommy Smothers

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult. -Rita Rudner

I’ve been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. -Wendy Liebman

A word to the wise is not sufficient if it doesn’t make sense. -James Thurber

I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get. -Rodney Dangerfield

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R’s only one begins with an R. -Dennis Miller

Hey! Get your priorities crooked. -Mitch Hedberg

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing. -Johnny Carson

A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn’t pay his bill, so he gave him another six months. -Henny Youngman

Boy were we poor, if I wasn’t born a boy I would of had nothing to play with. -Rodney Dangerfield

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. -Henny Youngman

“I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that “I do” is the longest sentence? -George Carlin

I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it. -Mitch Hedberg

When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always. -Rita Rudner

It’s not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause. -Jack Benny

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. -Mitch Hedberg

People are still willing to do an honest day’s work. The trouble is they want a week’s pay for it. -Joey Adams

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. -Phyllis Diller

The death penalty is becoming a way of life in this country. -Dennis Miller

I remember when I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. -Rodney Dangerfield

I drink to forget I drink. -Joe E. Lewis

Show me a friend in need and I’ll show you a pest. -Joe E. Lewis

Too bad you can’t buy a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin real fast and freak everybody out. -Jack Handy

Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass. -Bill Hicks

Marriage is give and take. You’d better give it to her or she’ll take it anyway. -Joey Adams

Sex is an emotion in motion -Mae West

I’m still chasing girls. I don’t remember what for, but I’m still chasing them. -Joe E. Lewis

I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years. -Sam Kinison

She was so fat that after she sat on someone’s lap we had to look for him in the crack of her ass. -Rodney Dangerfield

Reality is just a crutch for people who can’t cope with drugs. -Robin Williams

I came from a real tough neighborhood. On my street, the kids take hubcaps – from moving cars. -Rodney Dangerfield

If women ran the world we wouldn’t have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days. -Robin Williams

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. -Steven Wright

It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious. -Bill Hicks

The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it. -Rodney Dangerfield

I’m in shape. Round is a shape. -George Carlin

A guy gave me a job at an information booth – no questions asked. -Jay London

Men don’t care what’s on TV. They only care what else is on TV. -Jerry Seinfeld

The difference between playing the stock market and the horses is that one of the horses must win. -Joey Adams

Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport. -Henny Youngman

I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something’s wrong with me. -Elayne Boosler

Oh, when I was a kid I was poor. We were so poor, when my father died; they asked my mother, “Paper or plastic?” -Rodney Dangerfield

My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive. -Rodney Dangerfield

I know you’ve been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive. -Johnny Carson

Change is inevitable….except from vending machines. -Steven Wright

I think every bullet should cost ,000. Because if a bullet cost 5,000 dollars, we wouldn’t have any innocent bystanders. -Chris Rock

That joke came from the top of my head, and the top of my head ain’t funny. -Mitch Hedberg

Kids. They’re not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex. -Bill Maher

My wife’s got a face like a saint – a Saint Bernard. -Rodney Dangerfield

I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there’s never any gum under any of them. -Emo Philips

I got food poisoning today. I don’t know when I’ll use it. -Steven Wright

You people will laugh at shit that’s funny and won’t laugh at shit that’s not funny… you’re frickin’ accurate. -Mitch Hedberg

When you don’t know what you’re talking about, it’s hard to know when you’re finished. -Tommy Smothers

I met the surgeon general – he offered me a cigarette. -Rodney Dangerfield

I want to make a vending machine that sells vending machines… It would have to be real fricking big! -Mitch Hedberg

Do you think God gets stoned? I think so… look at the platypus. -Robin Williams

I model irregular clothing. -Jay London

How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb? -Steven Wright

I’m trying a new diet now. The diet is Viagra and prune juice. I tell ya, I don’t know if I’m coming or going. -Rodney Dangerfield

My sex life is terrible, my wife put a mirror over the dogs bed. -Rodney Dangerfield

People always ask me, ‘Were you funny as a child?’ Well, no, I was an accountant. -Ellen DeGeneres

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn’t funny, but chaos in the midst of order is. -Steve Martin

Group sex are you kidding I had group sex – My wife screwed me in front of the jury. -Rodney Dangerfield

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch. -Dennis Miller

It wasn’t that no one asked me to the prom, it was that no one would tell me where it was. -Rita Rudner

I hate small towns because once you’ve seen the cannon in the park there’s nothing else to do. -Lenny Bruce

You only live once – but if you work it right, once is enough. -Joe E. Lewis

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? -George Carlin

If there’s a will, prosperity can’t be far behind. -W. C. Fields

Rice is great if you’re really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something. -Mitch Hedberg

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. -Robin Williams

When I was born the doctor turned me upside down and said, “my god twins” -Rodney Dangerfield

Would a fly without wings be called a walk? -George Carlin

When I was born the doctor slapped my mother. -Rodney Dangerfield

Reality is just a crutch for people who can’t cope with drugs. -Robin Williams

This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the fruit-of-the-loom guys laughing at me. -Rodney Dangerfield

There’s only one thing money won’t buy, and that is poverty. -Joe E. Lewis

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. -Phyllis Diller

Just go up to somebody on the street and say “You’re it!” and then run away. -Ellen DeGeneres

Childbirth is no more a miracle then eating food and a turd coming out of your ass. -Bill Hicks

Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you. -Joey Adams

A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree. -Spike Milligan

She was so fat that her belly button makes an echo. -Rodney Dangerfield

Magicians disappear all the time, but as soon as a regular person does it, everyone is all scared. -Mitch Hedberg

You can’t trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. -W. C. Fields

During sex my wife always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. -Rodney Dangerfield

When we got married my wife told me I was one in a million. I found out she was right! -Rodney Dangerfield

I was so depressed that I decided to jump from the tenth floor. They sent up a priest. He said ” on your mark …” -Rodney Dangerfield

I have a microwave fireplace in my house…The other night I laid down in front of the fire for the evening in two minutes. -Steven Wright

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio. -Joan Rivers

I wish I could play Little League now… I’d kick some frickin’ ass. I’d be way better than before. Who’s back-up now? -Mitch Hedberg

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be. -Rita Rudner

I’m a hard act to follow too. Cause when I am done, I take the microphone with me. -Mitch Hedberg

A drawing is always dragged down to the level of its caption. -James Thurber

I’m tired of this back-slapping “Isn’t humanity neat?” bullshit. We’re a virus with shoes, okay? That’s all we are. -Bill Hicks

I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long. -Mitch Hedberg

I don’t know a lot about cigars, the guy behind the counter says, “What kind of cigars do you like?” “Uhhh… It’s-a-boys.” -Mitch Hedberg

Just because nobody complains doesn’t mean all parachutes are perfect. -Benny Hill

Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves. -Phyllis Diller

You never see a man walking down the street with a woman who has a little potbelly and a bald spot. -Elayne Boosler

I like my wine like my women – ready to pass out. -Robin Williams

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food. -W. C. Fields

My girlfriend works at Hooters… in the kitchen. -Mitch Hedberg

The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face. -Jack Handy

I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary, It did not need to exist… It was pure Danger. -Mitch Hedberg

I saw a Boxing commercial and it said “It’s a fight to the finish” That’s a good place to end. -Mitch Hedberg

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can’t make him think. -Milton Berle

My old man, he carries around the picture of the kid that came with the wallet. -Rodney Dangerfield

I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don’t know I’m firing blanks. -Emo Philips

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers? -George Carlin

I told my doctor I think my wife has V.D. he gave himself a shot of penicillin -Rodney Dangerfield

I know you’ve been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive. -Johnny Carson

A recent police study found that you’re much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run. -Dennis Miller

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order. -Spike Milligan

Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor, I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes. -Rodney Dangerfield

I hate small towns because once you’ve seen the cannon in the park there’s nothing else to do. -Lenny Bruce

I type at one hundred and one words a minute. But it’s in my own language. -Mitch Hedberg

That’s the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me. -Jerry Seinfeld

Once in a restaurant I made a toast to my wife, “To the best woman a man ever had”. The waiter joined me. -Rodney Dangerfield

If a word in the dictionary were mispelled, how would we know? -Steven Wright

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died. -Steven Wright

The musicians today who don’t do drugs and in fact speak out against it? “Rock Against Drugs?” BOY do they suck. -Bill Hicks

We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free. -Bill Hicks

Let’s face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him? -Bill Maher

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. -Steven Wright

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer. -Mitch Hedberg

I know you’ve been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive. -Johnny Carson

My marriage is on the rocks again, yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend. -Rodney Dangerfield

My girlfriend does her nails with white-out. When she’s asleep, I go over there and write misspelled words on them. -Steven Wright

I was the kid next door’s imaginary friend. -Emo Philips

I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again. -Bill Maher

I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. he told me to wear a brown tie. -Rodney Dangerfield

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? -Steven Wright

I’d like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals. -Jack Handy

There’s only one thing money won’t buy, and that is poverty. -Joe E. Lewis

When I was in boy scouts, I slipped on the ice and hurt my ankle. A little old lady had to help me across the street. -Steven Wright

I used to think drinking was the only way to be happy. Now I know there is no way to be happy. -Laura Kightlinger

It is better to have loafed and lost, than never to have loafed at all. -James Thurber

Why her cooking is so bad that the flies pitched in to fix the screen door. -Rodney Dangerfield

I always have trouble remembering three things: faces, names, and – I can’t remember what the third thing is. -Fred Allen

I spilled spot remover on my dog. He’s gone now. -Steven Wright

I’d like to get four people who do cart wheels very good, and make a cart. -Mitch Hedberg

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing. -Johnny Carson

My wife’s got a face like a saint – a Saint Bernard. -Rodney Dangerfield

My father would take me to the playground, and put me on mood swings. -Jay London

I couldn’t find the remote control to the remote control. -Steven Wright

I was at the lake and I saw this seagull, so I walked up to it and said, “It’s okay, I won’t tell anybody.” -Mitch Hedberg

Broken promises don’t upset me. I just think, why did they believe me? -Jack Handy

Television is a device that permits people who haven’t anything to do to watch people who can’t do anything. -Fred Allen

One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people. -George Carlin

I’m a hard act to follow too. Cause when I am done, I take the microphone with me. -Mitch Hedberg

I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm. -Jay London

Gags die, humor doesn’t. -Jack Benny

What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day. -Phyllis Diller

What was the best thing before sliced bread? -George Carlin

Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire. -Rodney Dangerfield

I drink Orange Juice with Vodka. It’s like Vitamin C that kicks your ass! -Mitch Hedberg

We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free. -Bill Hicks

They usually have two tellers in my local bank, except when it’s very busy, when they have one. -Rita Rudner

You know what burns me? Matches. -Jay London

My wife has to be the worst cook. I’ve got the only dog who begs for alka-seltzer. -Rodney Dangerfield

I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, “Got any shoes you’re not using?” -Steven Wright

Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer. -Joan Rivers

My uncles dying wish was to have me sit in his lap – he was in the electric chair -Rodney Dangerfield

I had a lot of pimples too. One day I fell asleep in the library. I woke up and a blind man was reading my face. -Rodney Dangerfield

Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it’s the scenic route. -Steven Wright

I don’t want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too. -Jack Benny

The sky already fell. Now what? -Steven Wright

This sign says “IMPROV”. I had a bad set on Friday night, so yesterday they put an “E” on the end of it. -Mitch Hedberg

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. -Steven Wright

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, “Get the hell off my property.” -Joan Rivers

I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it. -Rodney Dangerfield

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. -Joey Adams

I’ve been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she’ll kill me. -Henny Youngman

I can whistle with my fingers too… especially if I have a whistle. -Mitch Hedberg

I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, you hear a bunch of jokes at once. -Mitch Hedberg

I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t park anywhere near the place. -Steven Wright

I’d rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy. -Fred Allen

Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt. Because in every room he leaves a pyramid. -Rodney Dangerfield

Children are smarter than any of us. Know how I know that? I don’t know one child with a full time job and children. -Bill Hicks

I hope that after I die, people will say of me: “That guy sure owed me a lot of money.” -Jack Handy

My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend. -Rodney Dangerfield

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. -Robin Williams

I don’t want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too. -Jack Benny

One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people. -George Carlin

I named my private part pride… it’s not much but at least I have my pride. -Jay London

I like my wine like my women – ready to pass out. -Robin Williams

Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room. -Phyllis Diller

A committee is a group of the unprepared, appointed by the unwilling to do the unnecessary. -Fred Allen

When I told my doctor I couldn’t afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays. -Henny Youngman

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs? -Spike Milligan

I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. -Rodney Dangerfield

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. -Steven Wright

While playing golf today I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake. -Henny Youngman

Is there a doctor in the house? My parents want me to marry you. -Wendy Liebman

Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That’s how rich I want to be. -Rita Rudner

When I told my friends I was going to be a comedian, they laughed at me. -Carrot Top

The only good thing ever to come out of religion was the music. -George Carlin

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. -George Carlin

I’ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific. -George Carlin

I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long. -Mitch Hedberg

Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it. -George Carlin

There’s so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto. -Phyllis Diller

I used to think drinking was the only way to be happy. Now I know there is no way to be happy. -Laura Kightlinger

I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too. -Mitch Hedberg

Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they’re in the game. -Paul Rodriguez

When I told my doctor I couldn’t afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays. -Henny Youngman

If it weren’t for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we’d still be eating frozen radio dinners. -Johnny Carson

It doesn’t matter whether you are rich or poor – as long as you’ve got money. -Joe E. Lewis

Don’t sweat the petty things and don’t pet the sweaty things. -George Carlin

2 hour flight delay leaving Las Vegas. Put another way, I could have watched “Leaving Las Vegas” first and then showed up. -Tony Hsieh

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. -Steven Wright

Ever notice how irons have a setting for *permanent* press? I don’t get it… -Steven Wright

Boy, those French: they have a different word for everything! -Steve Martin

I tried to throw away a yo-yo. It was fricking impossible. * -Mitch Hedberg

I prayed for a new bike. I realised that the Lord doesn’t work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me. -Emo Philips

Washington is no place for a good actor. The competition from bad actors is too great. -Fred Allen

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can’t make me happy. -Spike Milligan

“I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that “I do” is the longest sentence? -George Carlin

Ed Sullivan will be around as long as someone else has talent. -Fred Allen

There’s no present. There’s only the immediate future and the recent past. -George Carlin

Man. I went to the doctor the other day. All this guy did was suck blood out of my neck. Never go to see Dr. Acula. -Mitch Hedberg

Girls are like pianos. When they’re not upright, they’re grand. -Benny Hill

Whenever I date a guy, I think, Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with? -Rita Rudner

Marriage is a great institution. No family should be without it. -Mae West

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how much you play, you’ll never be as good as a wall. -Mitch Hedberg

If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn’t type any slower. -Mitch Hedberg

How is it possible to have a civil war? -George Carlin

7 Responses to “One-Liners”

  1. Gabriella August 14, 2010 at 1:04 am #

    LOLOL Omg these are hilarious! Good read at 4:00 am

    • Doc August 14, 2010 at 6:46 am #

      Glad you got a kick out of ‘em, Gabs. You do realize, I suppose, that spending the wee hours reading Ramblings of a Madman doesn’t speak well of your sanity? Even if you were perfectly sane when you first arrived, your chances of leaving unaffected are slim to none.
      Thanks for stopping by…. we’ll save you a straitjacket. ;)

  2. Doreen September 28, 2010 at 7:28 pm #

    better save a straight jacket in my size too!

    funny stuff, Rodney Dangerfield cracks me up.

    • Doc September 28, 2010 at 7:46 pm #

      Hey, Doreen! Great to see you here. It’s been too long! Sorry, though, this is strictly a BYOSJ party!

      • JoJo June 17, 2011 at 12:54 am #

        Doc, I think I can put the sanity thing to rest for you!

        I am the ONLY sane person on the entire planet. The fact that no one believes me only proves that you’re all in denial about it!

        Just don’t stop rambling! It’s comforting to know I have a place to go, to remind myself that it’s everyone else and not me!

        • Doc June 17, 2011 at 9:20 am #

          Don’t worry, JoJo… if I haven’t stopped rambling by now… it ain’t likely.

          Glad I could help you out with that little reminder, though, it’s been a long time since…. oooh! SHINY!

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