How Can a Man Do That?

27 May

Many philosophers over the years have pondered the question posted by Charles Riborg Mann and George Ransom Twiss, in their 1910 book, Physics, which was, “When a tree falls in a lonely forest, and no animal is nearby to hear it, does it make a sound? Why?”

Scientifically, the accepted answer seems to be, “No, because sound is a perception of our senses, caused by the conversion of vibrations in a medium to electrical impulses sent to our brain.”

So much for the philosophical tendencies of the scientific mind!

A modernized version of their question might be better stated as, “If a woman is berating a man for his misbehavior, whether real or perceived, but he ignores her, is she still berating him? Why?

The first part of the question is obviously “Yes.” If you don’t believe that, you are either not a man, or you have not interacted with women. She will not stop until she is ready!

As to “Why”?, it is both simple and complex. She is still berating him for the simple reason that she is a woman. The fact that he isn’t listening has no bearing, because she isn’t berating him with any real hope of changing his future behavior, or making him feel contrite for his transgression. She is doing so for her own benefit. She must derive some satisfaction, or she wouldn’t do it… no?

One might ask, “How could a man possibly ignore such a berating?” First, it takes practice… sometimes years. Sadly, some men never master the art, and I’m sure you’ve all known at least one such fellow. Sad, listless eyes, a furrowed brow, stooped shoulders… all classic tell-tales of a man that has realized that yes, the tree still makes a sound. A LOT of sound.

How does a man go about perfecting this art?

He thinks about one of three things:

  • Food
  • Sex
  • Sports

Not necessarily in that order.

(some men, having little interest in sports, are limited to two choices)

Which would bring us to another question: “How does a woman know when to make a man a sandwich?”

But that’s a topic for another post!


8 Responses to “How Can a Man Do That?”

  1. Cricket May 27, 2010 at 11:37 am #

    You are treading in dangerous waters again! πŸ˜‰

    • Doc May 27, 2010 at 12:05 pm #

      @ Cricket – ‘Tis what I do, m’dear!

  2. Guy May 27, 2010 at 11:57 am #

    Funny post Doc, funny because it’s true on so many levels. I think ones willingness to comply with what women want, and not the reverse, is the key IMO. Instead of mastering the art of simple ‘not hearing it’ one must wonder why so many men opt to enable it in the first place…

    But as you noted in a way, remaining silent when it does happen is one of the easiest ways,You know, “You have the right to remain silent. Everything you say can and will be used against you …” Never truer when you’re dealing with a mad woman πŸ˜›

    I don’t think it’s a big deal though, women are naturally more prone to being easily upset and irritated than men are, it’s also good point out that women get over it faster too, thank God.

    • Doc May 27, 2010 at 12:07 pm #


      Some women get over it faster.

  3. Guy May 27, 2010 at 12:22 pm #

    Right, and some don’t even berate over little things either, only when they actually should.

    • Doc May 27, 2010 at 1:07 pm #

      True. The trick is to find such a woman,

      and not screw it up!

  4. neighborofthebeast May 29, 2010 at 12:39 pm #


    • Doc May 29, 2010 at 12:46 pm #

      Thanks for the kind words, Shayne!

      (Well…. word πŸ˜‰ )

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