It Just Seemed Like The Thing To Do At The Time, Your Honor.

15 Mar

I got arrested for a public disturbance this weekend (along with the other guy), when I saw someone arrive at their car in the mall parking lot, and flick away his lit cigarette before getting in.

When he got in his car and opened his window, something made me retrieve it for him, and I tossed it in his lap and said, “Hey, you dropped this.”

He damned near beat himself to death and ended up with a hole burned in the seat of his truck. Two private security cops and three squad cars later, we both got a trip downtown. He got hammered for resisting arrest and verbal abuse of a police officer, and the judge dropped my charge.

I love a judge with a sense of humor, though, and I took his scolding gracefully. After all, he was right… I did have every reason to believe that my actions would lead to an altercation. When he asked me what possessed me to think that my actions were appropriate, I told him, “I can’t say it was the appropriate thing to do, your honor. It just seemed like the thing to do at the time.” It was really hard not to smile when I said it.

I was just in a pissy mood, and I’m tired of seeing trash thrown out of car windows on the freeway, and an endless ribbon of trash on the shoulder. I’m sick of seeing people empty their ashtrays out the window while at the Carl’s Jr. drive-through, and tossing their empty coke can on the ground, two feet from a trashcan. I’m tired of living amongst people that seem to like to give pigs a bad name.

So now, I’ve met several cops, a judge and one slob, that I didn’t previously know. All in all, a productive day for a retired (or unemployed… it depends on my mood and financial status) smartass.

Retirement ain’t so bad! There’s LOTS of things a fella can do to break up the boredom.

Good thing my wife wasn’t with me, though.


13 Responses to “It Just Seemed Like The Thing To Do At The Time, Your Honor.”

  1. breeoxd March 15, 2010 at 2:38 pm #

    lmao omg that is just hilarious!!! Glad youre a free man though!

    • Doc March 15, 2010 at 3:06 pm #

      I was home within the hour, still chuckling about that clown beating himself half to death.
      Kind of an early birthday present to myself. 😉

  2. neighborofthebeast March 15, 2010 at 5:47 pm #

    Ándale, cabrón… así se hacen las cosas! hehe.. me encanta..
    Bueno let’s see… maybe he’ll think twice about it next time… maybe.. and that’s the whole idea…


    • Doc March 15, 2010 at 10:00 pm #

      That’s what I tell my wife! “Así se hace!”

  3. Cricket March 16, 2010 at 10:12 am #

    I needed this smile today. Thank you! You sure you aint a Texan? (grin)

    • Doc March 16, 2010 at 10:23 am #

      I’m damned sure I AM, Cricket! Heart, soul and mangled toes!

  4. Ahmad Wali March 16, 2010 at 12:57 pm #

    Oh my what a rough weekend…. 😀 just imagining the whole scene at there.. Thumbs Up!!

  5. kansascoder March 18, 2010 at 5:57 pm #

    What a hoot. There’s times I’d like to do that here in Wichita, KS but with Concealed Carry I’m leery of pissing anyone off too much…lol

    • Doc March 18, 2010 at 8:06 pm #

      I can understand that, kansascoder. Discretion really IS the better part…

  6. M.-J. Taylor March 18, 2010 at 7:59 pm #

    Hysterical! My hero!

    • Doc March 18, 2010 at 8:04 pm #

      Huh! That’s not what the missus had to say about me!

  7. Fiona March 24, 2010 at 8:40 am #

    A friend of mine told me about your website, that cracked me up, i live in Mexico aswell, and it annoys me to see the rubbish, you deserve the “I don’t put up with shit award.” pensar para el futuro es esta bien para tue le contacto en el policia jajajajajjajajaj

    • Doc March 25, 2010 at 11:39 am #

      Thanks, Fiona. But police contacts is something I can do without. 😉

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