Morons With Cars

15 Jan

Since I’m no longer the happy-go-lucky character I once was, I find that there seem to be more things that really get under my skin these days. A lot of them center around the way some people drive. Here are a few of them:


We’ve all seen the idiots passing us on the highway, while scanning a magazine, texting on their cell phone, or applying makeup in the rearview mirror.  These are the morons that can’t understand that when you’re moving at 60 miles per hour, and someone else is moving at 60 miles per hour in a different direction, that they will be moving at a relative speed of anywhere between 88 and 176 feet per second! Time lost can make the difference between a scare and a funeral. Or several funerals.


Or those that are so wrapped up in drumming out the Innagaddadavida drum solo on their steering wheel, arguing with their mate, or screaming at their kids, that they won’t notice anything going on around them, until it’s too late for anything but an “Oh, SH….!”


How about those that think that the traffic laws apply to others, so they don’t have to actually stop, just slow down a little bit at the stop sign? Or that think that doing 45 in a school zone is okay, as long as you don’t get caught? Doncha just LOVE ’em? Remember, they’ll probably still be driving when your kid gets their license. If some idiot doesn’t nail e’m on their way home from school first!


Ya gotta love the numbskulls that insist on turning left in front of oncoming traffic, never using their turn signals. Bad enough to do it when there’s no possible way for anyone to stop in time, but keeping their planned action a mystery… that’s a nice touch!


Yes, that’s sarcasm. I’m talking about the parents that drive along with their toddler standing on the seat next to them. The same parent that will throw their arm up to restrain the child, if they have to brake suddenly. They never stop to think that their 30 pound bundle of joy will weigh the equivalent of nearly 250 pounds, in an impact at 40 miles per hour. Try stopping 250 pounds with one outstretched arm and let me know how that works out for you. You may be attending that child’s funeral with a cast on your arm. Most states now have seatbelt laws, I believe. They aren’t based on whims, they’re based on saving lives! USE ’em!


These are the ones that take pleasure in getting away with things. It doesn’t matter what law they’re breaking, it’s the idea of breaking it that gives them satisfaction. They’ll always push beyond the speed limit, ignore stop signs and stoplights, speed up for a yellow light, deliberately cut off someone that wants to change lanes. We see them every day, in one variation or another. Some of them make me wish I could get my Hummer outfitted with twin .50 cal. machineguns.

I consider myself a defensive driver. I’ve had two accidents in my life. Both times, I was struck by another vehicle, while stopped. I also consider myself to be a courteous driver. I’m not in such a hurry to get anywhere, that I can’t wave someone on, that wants to enter traffic, change lanes or make the off-ramp. Courtesy, I’ve found, is contagious. If you’re rude to someone, it will piss them off, and they’ll be rude to the next person they encounter. But if you’re kind, they’ll appreciate it, and will probably be kind to the next three or four people they come across.

Still, I think I’ll check with the Humvee dealer about those gunmounts.

While I’m doin’ that, anybody that would like to add to the list of “special people” behind the wheel, feel free to comment! I KNOW I didn’t get ’em all!


4 Responses to “Morons With Cars”

  1. breeoxd January 15, 2010 at 11:14 am #

    I really hate people that drive. I guess that means I just hate people lol
    naw, I’m just joshin. But really, why is it so damn hard for people to use a turn signal, or not hit their breaks every two seconds for no reason? And heaven forbid we talk about merging! Here in DC thats an exercise in futility. Sigh, Im gonna stay home.

    • Doc January 15, 2010 at 11:27 am #

      I know what you mean! You think DC is bad? You oughta try driving in Mexico City sometime! Bring a deathwish with you!

  2. abajan January 20, 2010 at 1:00 am #

    I see things haven’t changed in Mexico City. When I was there around 1980, I saw two cars hit and both drivers continued along their merry way!

    • Doc January 20, 2010 at 7:56 am #

      Oh, SURE it’s changed! It’s even worse! I suppose one’s perspective is different, living in a big city. Some things are to be expected, so folks don’t get excited about them. And a lot of people in Mexico City are afraid to stop, lest it’s a set-up, or the other driver decides to pull a gun. To be fair, though, aside from that incident, I really enjoyed living there, and I normally HATE big cities.
      Thanks for the comment!

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