Why Change?

14 Jan

It’s been said that it’s human nature to resist change. I think that’s true, as we’re creatures of habit. I know I’ve seen a lot of people (myself included) fight change that turned out to be very beneficial, just for the sake of maintaining the status quo.

There are many things that we don’t like to have change, especially unexpectedly. But there are a few that cut us to the quick. Here are a few of my personal DO NOT CHANGE items:

  • Brand of whiskey – I have acquired a taste for the make of whiskey that I drink, and the only change I care to see it undergo is aging. If I decide to buy a different brand, it is called expanding my horizons. If you do so, it’s called grounds for divorce!
  • Brand of tobacco(see Brand of whiskey… the same applies)
  • After shave/cologne – In the first place, I use after shave. Sissy boys wear cologne! Crap! Why don’t they just name it Perfume and remove any doubt? As for the specific aftershave, I have my favorite. If you want to buy me something different now that then, that’s fine. But don’t get bent out of shape if I never use it. I don’t care to smell like I spent the night in a French cathouse. Whether I did or not is irrelevant.
  • Deodorant, toothpaste, shampoo, bath soap… again, I have my preferences, as you do. I promise not to make you use mine. I expect the same courtesy.
  • Now here’s another biggie… Brand of COFFEE! When I am out, I expect to have to make do. If the restaurant has bad coffee, I just won’t go back. If your mother services bad coffee, that’ll just be one more reason why I won’t go back. But when I’m at home, with the moat full and the drawbridge raised, I don’t expect to have to make do. I expect to be able to enjoy a good cup of my favorite coffee, without anyone trying to sneak me a cup of French Vanilla with Mint, brewed with a pinch of salt and crushed eggshells, and a dash of cinnamon! I suggest you peel the label off the coffee can, fold it up and put it in your purse. Refer to it every time you shop for groceries. It is a little-known historical fact that Napolean set out upon his campaign to conquer Europe the very day that Josephine tried to replace his traditional cup of Folgers with Yuban. I doubt it was coincidence! Messing with a man’s morning coffee isn’t grounds for divorce… it’s grounds for justifiable homicide in at least seven states!

Women, of course, will not heed any of these warnings. They exist to change man, particularly if he seems content as things are. They see that as an unnatural state, and will go to any lengths to undermine his contentment, when it doesn’t agree with their own (does it EVER?).

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